
Shrimp Suck
Everyone in my school
Is just a little shrimp
We’re decapodic runners
And arthropodic wimps
Covered up in fingernails
Just as ugly as can be
Now, sometimes we swim backwards
Makes it difficult to see
We’re scavengers and cannibals
We eat toxins in the muck
Cause shrimp suck
Oh, yes, we do
We're drifters out of Texas
We come from broken mangrove homes
We’re wanted dead or alive
By anything with bones
Wanted in the U.S.
And we’re big time in Japan
So, we’re chased both day and night
By the trawls of the shrimp man
But our value’s sinking down now
And our mercury’s rising up
Cause shrimp suck
Oh, yes, we do
We got carbon footprints,
The size of semi trucks
Without some sort of cocktail sauce
We’re just tasteless schmucks
Eat yourself a chicken, man
A pig, a cow or duck
Cause shrimp suck
Oh, yes, we do
He starts to haul us in his net
And I can’t believe my eyes
There’s mud and silt everywhere
And starfish fill the skies
Turtles flat as flounders
And the reef’s been torn to bits
The seahorses are galloping
They’re running from the blitz
Though we’re the target species
They're all out of luck
Cause shrimp suck
Oh, yes, we do
© 2025 Mark Holmes. All rights reserved.